The Female Orgasm and Why the "Hoe Phase" is a Scam

"Anything you can do, I can do better, I can do anything better than you," seemed to be the theme for the so-called female sexual liberation movement. Women decided to flip the status quo by challenging society's double standard of innocence and purity for girls, while pushing debauchery and deviancy in the name of "boys will be boys" for men. Don't get me wrong, it was a much-needed movement. Not only did it pave the way for sexual self-discovery, but it also allowed us to challenge rape culture by amplifying the voices of sexual abuse survivors, acknowledging coercion as sexual assault, and destigmatizing sex work. With that being said, the one thing I think we got wrong is navigating sexual relationships in the same ways that men do, when perhaps we should have made them, erm, rise to the occasion, and meet us at the top of the emotional intelligence chain. Why so? Well, our orgasms are kinda sorta dependent on it.

A study produced in 2018 showed nearly 70% of women are able to orgasm with a familiar partner, while another study showed only 10% of women are able to orgasm during a first-time hook-up. What does that mean? For a lot of women, sex is more than just physical. Familiarity often breeds emotional safety that cannot be created during a first-time, especially a first-time, one-time hook-up. Knowing this begets the question - why do we continue to do it? If we can collectively agree that hook-ups do not typically produce sexual satisfaction, why keep not only making the same mistakes, but glorifying it?

It makes sense that we challenged societal norms, explored unknown territory with our sexuality and rejected the idea of having our values lowered as human beings based on who or how we choose to sexually engage with others. However, now that we know better, isn't it time to do better? Isn't it time to pass down the wisdom to the upcoming generation so they don't make the mistakes that millenial women made? Isn't it time to simply have better sex? Questions that need immediate answers.

I am of the opinion that women's bodies are sacred, and that sex does not desecrate you or make you unholy. I am also of the opinon that respecting yourself also means respecting your body by prioritzing your own pleasure, and not allowing other humans to masturbate with your body while you get absolutely nothing out of the deal. Having casual sex does not mean you have to let your horizontal tango partner treat you like a piece of meat for them to pound and release pent up sexual tension onto, and nothing more. The sacredness of your body is your soul, and I do believe allowing people to use your body as they see fit while you get nothing in return is abusing your spirit. You deserve better.

Cheers to getting what we want and how we want it without sacrificing our mental, emotional, or physical well-being,

Coco